The Luigi-Scolds Don't Care About Changing Your Mind

Online Scolds Know Their Tactic Doesn't Persuade People. That's Not Why They Do It.

Let me just start out by saying that this piece isn’t about my opinions on the Luigi Mangione of it all. I am not a lawyer or a historian or any other kind of expert that would make my views on that subject particularly interesting or valuable. But a topic on which I am an expert is posting, and with that in mind I would like to discuss the tidal wave of scolding posts that we all have been subjected to over the past few weeks in the fallout from the infamous midtown murder. So let’s start there.

The murder of United Healthcare CEO Brian Johnson was perfectly crafted to be a full-blown internet sensation. A mysterious and handsome Mediterranean assassin, a uniquely loathe-able victim, silencers, meticulously-planned escape routes, and fake ID’s - all set against the hustle and bustle of midtown NYC on a work day. It’s like a fucking movie. So while the government response to the murder is pretty unsettling (spending 10000x more resources on a single crime because the victim was rich and powerful, etc), it’s not surprising to me *at all* that the whole thing gripped (and continues to grip) the public’s collective attention. And given how the health insurance affects almost every single living American in awful and tragic ways, it’s also pretty unsurprising that people had very little sympathy for Mr. Johnson. Well, most people.

As the jokes started rolling in, the usual list of suspects rolled up their sleeves - ready to tsk-tsk anyone willing to honestly admit how they actually felt about this event. Major figures of politicsposting from Ben Shapiro to CNN anchors to sitting GOP reps to former Obama administration guys all linked arms across the aisle to denounce these jokes, and the horrible people who dare to make them. They came at it from different angles sometime, but in the end the message was the same: the violence that we support is categorically different from the violence you support, and you should be deeply ashamed for not sharing their worldview. Ben Shapiro and Yashar Ali may have different politics on a superficial level, but the exact same politics in their hearts: the interests of the powerful are paramount to all others, and they want you to know about it.

The first, and probably most obvious point that these people lean on is that murder is wrong. I (and pretty much everyone else on earth) agree with that! Death is awful and never contained to the victim themselves - the tragedy ripples out and afflicts lasting trauma on family, friends, and coworkers. Murder is terrible for community trust and safety. It locked John Wick into a life of loss and solitude. It made Simba an orphan. It forced Bruce Wayne to become a violent furry. It’s a key pillar of every major world religion’s moral structure. Any small child could tell you that murder is wrong. My point being that “murder is bad” is not a particularly trenchant insight, so it’s notable that every one of the online Luigi-scolds posted some form of this thought as if they were imbued with a groundbreaking moral clarity, one that eludes the unwashed masses who dare to make a Luigi’s Mansion shitpost or just not be sufficiently somber and melancholic when discussing the killing. Ummm guys, murder is bad…

But it didn’t stop there - as people tend to when posting online, the scolds got more niche, more unique, more creative. Conservative voices from LibsOfTikTok to Bill O’Reilly lined up to blame the entire response on the “violent left” (even though the positive sentiment has come from every corner of the political spectrum and Luigi Mangione has classically American indecipherable politics). There were three separate The Root articles blaming the whole situation on white privilege. Jokesters were implored to think of his children, think of his wife, think of his beloved colleagues at the Ministry of Evil. None of these attempts were met with any positive response, nobody was convinced that their jokes were in poor taste, and there has not been a national reckoning about how we are not kind or thoughtful enough to our treasured CEOs. People felt how they felt, and anyone with a genuine interest in changing a society that was near-gleeful to see a man shot down in the street would ask themselves why this was. But that wasn’t what the scolds were aiming to do.

The goal of the scolds has never been to change hearts or minds. It was never about deep concern for a culture that was resorting to violence as a last resort. America has always been a deeply violent place, and these same people never really gave shit about any of that. Ben Shapiro has never once shed a tear for the million people America killed in Iraq. Chris Cuomo doesn’t care about the children of Gaza being crushed under buildings and shot in the head by snipers. Bill O’Reilly does not care about US citizens murdered at Riker’s Island by agents of the state. None of the people excoriating shitposters on Twitter or Bluesky for having the temerity to make a jury nullification joke have ever made a small fraction of that kind of fuss on behalf of the tens of thousands of people murdered by the health insurance industry every year. Because the point has never been that killing or death or murder is wrong - the point is to genuflect towards the rich and powerful, communicating that they are not part of the disgusting poor hordes cracking wise about Brian and Luigi - they’re one of the good ones.

In the end, I doubt little will change in America as a result of Luigi’s actions (except a few executive security companies making more money, I guess). Yes, the events he set in motion very clearly revealed that an overwhelming number of Americans are fed up with the ghouls who lord over our healthcare and siphon off billions for their mansions and yachts and supercars (and the electoral options for changing this system). But America has always been a country where the overwhelming views of the citizens are fairly unimportant if they happen to run counter to the interests of the wealthy. We fight wars the people don’t want to fight. We fund programs people find reprehensible. We build healthcare systems that enrich a few people at the expense of countless innocent lives. The will of the people has never been particularly relevant when it comes to the machinations of the powerful. We are on a fixed path, and the scolds know it just as much as I do. They aren’t trying to change how you feel about Brian Thompson or Luigi Mangione or United Healthcare or jokes or tone or anything at all, really. They just want the masters of the universe to notice them, and smile down upon them.