Keeping Tabs On Matt Gaetz
Just What Is Our Could-Have-Been Attorney General Been Up To Lately?
When thinking of some of history’s grandest and swiftest falls from grace, certain names immediately spring to mind: Bill Cosby. Napoleon Bonaparte. Matthew Gaetz. Just *weeks* ago Gaetz had easily won re-election to the however-many-hundredth congress and had been nominated for the top law enforcement position in the entire country. Not bad for a 42 year old large-foreheaded rich kid from panhandle Florida. But as it turned out, this was truly his Icarus moment - he was too big of a shithead to handle the sun-like spotlight his position demanded, and he fell out of the sky like Wile-e-Coyote holding an anvil. What struck me about Gaetz’s complete and utter collapse is how thorough it was and continues to be. Unlike many scandal-ridden GOP hacks who claw their way back into party relevancy after each successive impropriety, Matt seems mostly resigned to his fate - putting out every possible signal that he accepts his new role as a pathetic has-been. His nomination was an complete clownshow, his sordid shit is in out the streets, and his former colleagues publicly broke into applause at the announcement that he would not be returning. I can at least give him the small credit of knowing when his shit is 1000% cooked. A lot of guys can’t pick up on that (cough cough america’s mayor). But since he has faded from the limelight, I find myself wondering what exactly someone who crashed and burned this loudly and publicly does all day, and because Gaetz is a posting-addicted millennial, there are a lot of clues out there.
Yes, He’s On Cameo
Ahh Cameo, the official home of American Luminaries Who’s Careers Are Going Great. To scroll the homepage feels not unlike strolling down Hollywood’s storied